A South African couple has reportedly put their highly anticipated wedding on hold due to a disagreement over the bride’s surname after marriage. The bride, who is a medical doctor, has firmly insisted on keeping her maiden name, a decision that has caused a major conflict between the couple.
According to an X user, Kuanele, who shared the story online, the bride is deeply attached to her maiden name because she is the first doctor in her family. She believes that changing her surname completely would erase the legacy she has built under her family’s name and wishes to either retain it or use a double-barrel surname.
Kuanele wrote:
“The chat on the radio rn. Chat is that a couple has put getting married on hold bc he wants her to take his surname but she wants a double barrel bc of she’s a doctor. She’s the first dr in her family so she wants to keep that name,” she wrote.
“Man is saying no bc if he’s gonna pay lobola and all, she has to take his surname.”
The groom, on the other hand, is reportedly unwilling to compromise. He strongly believes that as his wife, she should fully adopt his surname, especially considering the cultural significance of lobola, the traditional bride price he is expected to pay. This cultural expectation, in his view, signifies that she should honor and embrace his family name.
The disagreement has sparked a wave of discussions online, with many social media users debating whether a woman should be obligated to take her husband’s surname or if she should have the freedom to decide. Some argue that traditions should be upheld, while others emphasize the importance of personal and professional identity in modern relationships.
See screenshots of the conversation below:
As the couple remains at a standstill, it is unclear whether they will be able to reach a compromise or if this disagreement will lead to the permanent cancellation of their wedding plans.